Real Talk: It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas
Hello, friends, thank you for taking the time to stop by and read my blog today. I appreciate your support and hope you learn something while you’re here. So if you know me in real life or virtually, you already know that I am an open book. No questions is too weird, no topic is off the table, and I will be honest with you no matter what. So with that in mind, I want to chat with you about something that has been heavy on my mind, not just over these last few days, but almost every holiday season.
Yes, the holidays are upon us! What a joyous time of the year! Which would actually be the case, if you’re not a woman or a mom, who more often are filled with some level of dread this time of the year. Now listen, my purpose in life is to support other women, other parents in general, but mamas have a special place in my heart. And this season can be really hard.
We, as mothers and woman, are expected to fill this season with all the joy and excitement for everyone, our children, our families, our communities, literally everyone around us. We are expected to bring the magic of the Christmas spirit, Santa, and all the elves. We are expected to plan, research, and shop for gifts for everyone in the family near and far, friends, teachers, neighbors, delivery people, garbage people, and everyone else. We are supposed to decorate the house and the yard, bake all the cookies, attend all the school and extracurricular events, plan outings, organize community outreach projects, etc. All of which should also be done with yourself and everyone else around you looking put together, with a smile on your face, and without cracking.
WHOA! Seriously?! Those are the expectations? That is what this season is supposed to look like? I mean, let’s be realistic. We are do a lot, and I mean, a LOT. But this is setting us up for failure. It’s literally impossible not to crack under that kind of pressure. Plus, it steals so much from women, mothers, parents due to the crippling stress they are under. Because we certainly don’t need another scenario where we feel like we’re “not enough.” As a matter of fact, we need the exact opposite of that.
After watching the Bad Moms Christmas movie on Netflix last weekend, and several conversations with my friends who are moms, I am here to challenge other moms, dads, parents, grandparents. Let’s take some of the pressure off.
Let’s focus more on the presence over presents. Spend time together; gather together, bring a dish to share, make hot chocolate, and hang out without the expectation that the house is impeccably clean and decorated. You can meet outside in the yard, at a park, or on a hike, so you can skip cleaning those base boards, friends!
Let’s gift gently used toys & clothes that are outgrown, or find secondhand gems you thrifted.
Let’s gift homemade goodies (cookies, soups, bread, or your other creative kitchen creations), and handmade goodies (crafts, drawings, ornaments, Cricut projects). These are some of my favorites that my patients bring every year and are so special.
Gift experiences, memberships, or planned outings together (zoo, museums, national park passes, and adventures of any kind). Offer babysitting time for your family members. Or even help someone clean out their garage or organize their closet. Or offer another service to help someone out.
Send holiday cards that aren’t perfectly posed pictures with Santa or another holiday theme in matching outfits. It’s so very much ok. Your family and friends just want to see your smiling faces.
Pick a couple of your favorite holiday-themed outings and do those. You do NOT have to do them all. And you can also skip them, altogether; no judgement.
Make a pact with your family and friends to not do any gifts.
Plan a holiday festivity with your family or friends where the dress code is cozy, or a movie night in PJs only. Take the pressure off shopping for a new outfit.
Do a clothing swap with your friends, so no one has to spend any extra money and everyone cleans out their closet.
The point of all this is to take the pressure off yourself as well as others. Give yourself a bit of a break, and lots of GRACE. I’m sure there will still be plenty of things to stress out about during this time. But what if we just did not do it too much. What if we just took the time to enjoy this time with our families and friends, to not overdo it, and to relieve that building pressure during this time. That is my challenge for you, my friends!
I would love to hear what you are going to do to simplify this time of the year! I am here to support you in every way.
